just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
