she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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