Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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