we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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