so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
