Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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