what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
