I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
