Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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