u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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