I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
