okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
