While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
