Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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