I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
