once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
