Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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