I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
