Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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