I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
