did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Me too!
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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