Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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