if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
