i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
