drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
