is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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