Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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