I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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