The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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