I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
