Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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