His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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