pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
