every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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