btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
