So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize