i barfeds in our rink
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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