you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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