Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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