she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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