Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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