I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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