the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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