Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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