perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize