the new term for farting is butt boxing.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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