Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
