Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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