I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You were trust falling into bushes
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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