He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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