so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just puked most of my soul out..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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