so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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