i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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