using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize