Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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