oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
