Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
