I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize
