I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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