someone get that fucking seahorse.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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