What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
