sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
