For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
