You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
