i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
