We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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