if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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