So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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