i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
