she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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