WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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