It's Friday. Sex?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
