I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize