I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize