i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
