I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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