I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
