Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
