i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
