he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
